Thursday, June 18, 2009
The best fertilizer is the gardener's shadow. ~Author Unknown
…But not necessarily someone else’s shadow. ~Ro
I woke up this morning in a dream. My friend Danny Sugarman (used to manage the Doors, dead in real time,) was in my living room managing a heard of spinning, life sucking drama queens, one of which was my June, my mother-in-law, (also dead, but still fully capable of mischief and mayhem). Eyes still closed, I smiled as Danny ingeniously spun the spinners, sending them off in every direction. I marveled at his art form, it reminded me of the discipline of Aikido in which the force of the blow from an attacker is not stopped but sidestepped, then given encouragement to continue on and away. When the house was clear Danny stepped into my room and awakened me with a kiss…
In real time I woke with the smile and kiss still fresh…
I followed the kiss back into the dream…
Once again, I was impressed by Danny’s mastery of shadow herding.
With Jim Morrison as his mentor, one would expect nothing less than brilliance.
Grateful for the clearing and care I got out of bed enjoying the peace that wafted through like breakfast cinnamon rolls transmuting the stink of the week before.
In last week’s blog I touched on the wonder and divinity to be found in one’s shadow. I forgot to mention the part where shadow unchecked is the dragon locked in one’s closet, scorching relationships, sabotaging finances, turning valued achievements to shit. In gardening terms manure and ash are valuable fertilizers… but the drama generated by a shadow disowned is never pretty.
Ultimately, the undoings of the shadow makes people bitter, convincing them that something or someone other than themselves created their life’s sorrow and disappointment. Like “the butler did it,” it’s never the dumb-ass boss, lover, or other’s doings… most of life’s ugliness is handiwork of one’s own shadow seeking attention.
This week a wounded adult, left abandoned shadow for Ron and I to raise, or drown as we saw fit, much like kittens left in a box in the alley, only more passive-aggressive. What to do when a juvenile-adult parks their shadow at your door step, in a brown paper bag, covers it in gasoline, sets it on fire, rings the doorbell and runs…?
Cold hearted bitch that I am, I watched it burn knowing that like a phoenix that sucker would resurrect from the ashes and fly back home. But the smell had been lingering. Then Danny popped in. Thanks Buddy!
Basic shadow rules;
• Shadow does not die.
• Like the many-headed dragon, no one can raise-up or kill off either their own or another’s shadow.
• Shadow is every bit as much fertilizer for the interior garden as animal manure is for the yard. Much like all fertilizers it needs to be properly aged or it does more harm then good by burning the crops and soil.
• Raising shadow- One starts by taking ownership.